"Ismaelillo"

 You laugh, my son, at nothing, at everything,

And I wonder.

Where are you, my son, when I need you here?

Where is that incredibly pure consciousness,

That breaks TVs and draws on walls?

What do I do with your heart, to make sure,

That Papa loves you madly?

That I would give everything, my life. My consciousness…

So that yours is there, when I look at you.

I want to see you, my son. Not just sometimes.

I want to see myself reflected in your beautiful eyes.

As if looking at my soul.

Know that Papa sees you. I feel you, my little one.

I feel you through the void.

Through the absence of your words.

I know you live in an Odyssey.

I know you fight with your barriers.

I see you battling your demons.

Every day.

When you get frustrated. When you don’t understand what you feel,

And your body finds relief in “Jumping.”

I know, it is not and will not be easy.

I know you didn’t ask to be born this way.

Even though it’s all you know.

You distance yourself from what is different

Because you are not aware

Of how special you already are.

My little one.

I have been in your shoes. And walked your steps.

I know it’s not easy living trapped in your thoughts.

It’s desperate, frustrating.

But today I walk with you.

Your little feet, stepping in my footprints.

I have paved a path for you.

You are not alone, my son.

You have legions of angels guarding you.

You have love in abundance. You yourself, are Love.

You are an angel. A little angel of God.

And of us.

All who love you.

It’s hard to see you grow. But you will grow.

And whenever you remember,

You will see in your memory that Papa loves you.

Because love does not die.

And when I am no longer here,

My love, in the form of angels of Light,

Will guide and protect you.

God bless you always, my son.

For Julian D. Perez 05/26/2024