"Autism , Autistic, Adults"

Adult Autism: Coming Out of the Psychological Closet

Felix Perez-Cuza · Florida · June 15, 2021

“You Don’t Seem Autistic”

“You don’t seem autistic.”
“You’re autistic?”
“But you speak normally and make eye contact.”
“You’re accomplished—you don’t have any problems.”
“You have a family. Where’s this autism coming from?”
“If you haven’t been diagnosed, then you’re not autistic…”

The Blessing and the Burden

The blessing and the burden of being an adult with autism
is known only to those of us who’ve faced the scrutiny
of ourselves—and of a society that punishes difference.

It’s hard to be “special” in a world
where swimming in schools is the norm.
Where reacting, thinking, and perceiving
must follow a “normal” script.

So you can be decoded by the average person—
So you’re not seen as strange, rejected, or pitied.

High Functioning?

Much of our behavior is shaped by what’s called
“High-Functioning Autism.”
So… are we the “Pro” version?

Because we can communicate,
make eye contact,
have above-average IQs,
build careers,
raise families—
Are we automatically cured
of the “unpretty” side of the condition?

Not at all.
It’s called the Autism Spectrum for a reason.
An infinite mix of variables:
behavior, perception, sensation, senses,
abilities, interactions…
None of it makes us “Pro” or “High-Functioning” by default.

According to Mr. Google

Definition of Autism:
“A psychological disorder characterized by intense concentration
on one’s inner world and a progressive loss of contact
with external reality.”

I don’t see that.

I know many people on the spectrum
who are deeply social.
They were autistic children,
and now they’re autistic adults—
with dreams, families, jobs… and autism.

They fight daily to pass through the filter
of a society that doesn’t understand
the fish that doesn’t swim with the school.

The person who sees, hears, and perceives
in ways that feel almost supernatural—
But who irritates others with their traits, their quirks.
The honest one, without lies or masks.
The perfectionist, always striving to be the best they can
in their world: at work, at home, with family.

I Am Autistic

I’ve just come out of the psychological closet.
I lay bare my self,
my misery,
my hunger to understand and be understood.
My heart that accepts—
And only wants to be accepted.